HAPPY BLOG
Sound infotainment for artists and filmmakers pulled by statistical processing computers from the internets and the personal journals of happy product inc.’s two-time academy award nominated filmmaker MARK OSBORNE©




David OReilly’s ‘The External World’ is brilliant!

externalworld

You must check out this new short film by David OReilly. It is amazingly special.

I don’t know who this guy is or where he came from but I can’t wait to see more from him.

Pictures aren’t enough to do this film justice. Picking one image is impossible. Just do yourself a favor and follow this link and see the film on the filmmaker’s site:

http://www.theexternalworld.com/

If it makes you happy, make sure you support this fellow and BUY a DVD HERE!

IT TURNS OUT — EVERYTHING IS A REMIX!

remix

In this brief yet informative documentary, Kirby Ferguson, a New York-based filmmaker, dissects the nature of modern film making. Can it be true that all art is influenced by something else and so therefore everything is indeed a remix of one kind or another?

It’s a pretty solid theory and this is a brilliant analysis. Please donate after watching so we can get to see parts 3 and 4.

Everything is a Remix Part 2 from Kirby Ferguson on Vimeo.

EVERYONE MAKES MISTAKES

lifedaybanner

FROM THE PRIVATE FILES OF MARK OSBORNE©: I just found a video that kinda messes with the deeply embedded fantasy that Star Wars was actually real…

…I can’t believe it’s taken me more than 30 years to see this blooper reel from the ONLY three Star Wars movies (seriously, don’t get me started).

Which reminds me, it’s that time of year again! The time where we get to celebrate both LIFE DAY and the fact that modern technology ensures that even pop culture’s biggest mistakes can’t be erased forever.

Meet Chewbaca's family, including ITCHY!

In case you don’t know what I’m talking about (and I kind of hope you don’t) The Star Wars Holiday Special is a pretty hardcore feature length blooper that appeared in the form of a TV special that aired only once back in the winter of 1978 at the height of the early Star Wars mania. Since Christmas doesn’t exist in the Star Wars universe, they created Life Day, a noble attempt at creating an organic holiday that evokes the feelings of Christmas, but it still feels utterly contrived, sad and hilarious all at the same time.

Chewie in a dress? Life Day must be important!

You can read a pretty interesting set of interviews HEREincluding one with Lenny Ripps, the co-author of the first script for the special. It includes some crazy stuff that I have never heard before about George Lucas’ thinking about the Star Wars universe at that early time:

He said things like “Well, you know Han Solo is married to a Wookiee. but we can’t say that.” [As outrageous as Ripps's recollection sounds, there is evidence supporting it. Pat Proft corroborates it and an early draft of the Star Wars script (January 28, 1975) has Han Solo living with a furry female creature who he kisses. Proft also remembers learning that Han was raised by Wookiees, which is verified on pages 46 & 131 of Laurent Bouzereau's Star Wars: The Annotated Screenplays.]

One of the best parts about the whole debacle? The very first appearance of BOBA FETT in the hand drawn animated segment! SPOILER ALERT, but he’s described in the segment as Darth Vader’s “right hand man.” Crazy!

I'd kill for some original hand painted cells of this!

But to get to the Fett, you’ll have to endure tons of your average everyday Star Wars kinda stuff like Harvey Corman as a space age Julia Child, Art Carney just hanging out with some Wookies, Bea Arthur as a bartender in the Cantina, Jefferson Starship performing a musical number (get it STARSHIP?), Grandpa Wookie in his virtual-reality JO machine, etc.

The best part of all? Princess Leia sings the lyrics to the Star Wars theme song (who knew there were lyrics?) and she proves that not only is there no underwear in space, there was no GAFFER TAPE handy on the set of the Holiday Special. I love you you Carrie Fisher.

Please enjoy the video below or HERE. Thank goodness for bootlegs! I kind of hope you’ve never seen it, or you don’t believe me, because you are about to get your mind blown BIG TIME!

THE STATISTICAL ANALYSIS ENGINE ALMOST EXPLODED THIS WEEKEND

clockwork-preview

When trying to analyze the much beloved CLOCKWORK ORANGE by Stanley Kubrick, the HAPPY PRODUCT STATISTICAL ANALYSIS ENGINE© shorted out and shut down the factory power grid and servers over a dozen times.

click for more… »

We’re not exactly sure why this happened, but research into the matter produced this glossary of NADSAT or “teenspeak” complied by Stanley Edgar Hyman in July of 1963. Once this was inputted into the HPSAE©, it was able to make the determination that this film must make no one HAPPY© and therefore makes very little sense. HUMAN FACTORY WORKER #77OSB-25 begs to differ, he claims the film is quite special, but he’s an imperfect human, so what does he know.

 

Here is a glossary of terms and their origins compiled at soomka.com followed by an explanation of the language by Mr. Hyman:

Word
Appypolly loggy
Baboochka
Baddiwad
Banda
Bezoomy
Biblio
Bitva
Bog
Bolnoy
Bolshy
Bratchny
Bratty
Britva
Brooko
Brosay
Bugatty
Cal
Cancer
Cantora
Carman
Chai
Charlie

Chasha
Chasso
Cheena
Cheest
Chelloveck
Chepooka
Choodessny
Chumble
Clop

Cluve
Collocol
Crark
Crast
Creech
Cutter
Dama
Ded
Deng
Devotchka
Dobby
Domy
Dook
Dorogoy

Drat

Drencrom
Droog
Dva
Eegra
Eemya
Eggiweg
Em
Fagged
Filly
Firegold
Forella
Gazetta
Glazz
Gloopy
Godman
Golly
Goloss
Goober
Gooly
Gorlo
Govoreet
Grazhny
Grazzy
Gromky
Groody
Gruppa
Guff
Gulliver
Guttiwuts
Hen-korm

Horn
Horrorshow
Hound-and-Horny
In-out-in-out
Interessovat
Itty
Jammiwam
Jeezny
Kartoffel
Keeshkas
Kleb
Klootch
Knopka
Kopat
Koshka
Kot
Krovvy
Kupet
Lapa
Lewdies
Lighter
Litso
Lomtick
Loveted
Lubbilubbing
Luscious Glory
Malchick
Malenky
Maslo
Merzky
Messel
Mesto
Millicent
Minoota
Molodoy
Moloko
Moodge
Morder
Mounch
Mozg
Nachinat
Nadmenny
Nadsat
Nagoy
Nazz
Neezhnies
Nochy
Noga
Nozh
Nuking
Oddy-knocky
Odin
Okno
Oobivat
Ookadeet
Ooko
Oomny
Oozhassny
Oozy
Orange
Osoosh
Otchkies
Pan-handle
Pee
Peet
Pishcha
Platch
Platties
Plenny
Plesk
Pletcho
Plott
Podooshka
Pol
Polezny
Polyclef
Pony
Poogly
Pooshka
Pop-disk
Prestoopnik
Pretty Polly

Privodeet
Prod
Ptitsa
Pyahnitsa
Rabbit
Radosty
Raskazz
Rasoodock

Raz
Razdrez
Razrez
Rooker
Rot
Rozz
Sabog

Sakar
Sammy
Sarky
Scoteena
Shaika
Sharp
Sharries
Shest
Shilarny
Shive
Shiyah
Shlaga

Shlapa
Shlem
Shoom
Shoot
Sinny
Skazat
Skolliwoll
Skorry
Skriking
Skvat
Sladky
Sloochat
Slooshy
Slovo
Smeck
Smot
Sneety
Snoutie
Snuff It
Sobirat
Sod
Sodding
Soomka
Soviet
Spat
Spoogy
Staja
Starry
Strack
Synthmesc
Tally
Tashtook
Tass
Tolchock
Toofles
Tree
Vareet
Vaysay
Veck
Vellocet
Veshch
Viddy
Voloss
Von
Vred
Warble
Yahma
Yahoody
Yahzick
Yarbles
Yeckate
Zammechat
Zasnoot
Zoobies
Zvonock
Zvook

Meaning
Apology

Old woman
Bad
Band
Mad
Library
Battle
God
Sick
Big
Bastard
Brother
Razor
Belly
Throw
Rich
Shit
Cigarette
Office
Pocket
Tea
Chaplain/Priest

Cup
Guard
Woman
Wash
Fellow
Nonsense
Wonderful
Mumble
Knock

Beak
Bell
Yowl
Steal
Scream
Money
Lady
Old Man
Money
Girl
Good
House
Ghost
Valuable

Fight

A drug
Friend
Two
Game
Name
Egg
Mum
Tired
Play
A drink
Trout
Newspaper
Eye
Stupid
Priest
Unit of Money
Voice
Lip
To Walk
Throat
To speak/talk
Dirty
Soiled
Loud
Breast
Group
Laugh
Head
Guts
Chickenfeed

To Cry Out
Good, well
Corny

Sex
To interest
To go
Jam
Life
Potatoes
Guts
Bread
Key
Button
To Dig (idiom)
Cat
Tomcat
Blood
To Buy
Paw
People
Crone (?)
Face
Slice
Caught
Making love

Hair
Boy
Little
Butter
Filthy
Thought
Place
Policeman
Minute
Young
Milk
Man
Snout
Snack
Brain
To Begin
Arrogant
Teenage
Naked
Fool
Underpants
Night
Foot
Knife
Perfumed
Lonesome
One
Window
To Kill
To leave
Ear
Clever
Terrible
Chain
Man
To Dry
Eyeglasses
Erection
Father
To Drink
Food
To Cry
Clothes
Prisoner
Splash
Shoulder
Flesh
Pillow
Sex
Useful
Skeleton key
To understand
Scared
Gun
Pop-music disc
Criminal
Money

To lead
To produce
Girl
Drunk
Work
Joy
Story
Mind

Time
Upset
To Rip
Hand
Mouth
Policeman
Shoe

Sugar
Generous
Sarcastic
“Cow”
Gang
Female
Balls
Pole
Concern
Slice, cut
Neck
Club

Hat
Helmet
Noise
Fool (v.)
Movies, film
To say
School
Quick, quickly
Scratching
To Grab
Sweet
To happen
To listen, hear
Word
Laugh (n.)
To look
Dream
Tobacco, snuff
To Die
To Pick Up
Bastard (idiom)
Fucking (idiom)
Woman
Advice, order
Sleep
Terrified
State Jail
Old, ancient
Horror
A drug
Waist
Handkerchief
Cup
To hit
Slippers
Three
To “cook up”
Toilet
Guy
A drug
Thing
To see
Hair
Smell (n.)
To Harm
Song
Hole
Jew
Tongue
Balls, testicles
To Drive
Remarkable
Wife
Teeth
Doorbell/Bellpull
Sound

Origins
School boy speak

Russian: babooshka/grandmother
School boy speak
Russian: banda/band, gang
Russian: byezoomiyi/mad, insane
Russian: biblioteka/library
Russian: bitva/battle
Russian: Bog/God
Russian: bolnoy/sick
Russian: bolshoy/big
Russian: vnyebrachnyi/illegitimate
Russian: brat/brother
Russian: britva/razor
Russian: bryukho/abdomen
Russian: brosat/to throw
Russian: bogaty/wealthy
Russian: kal/excrement, feces
Standard slang term: ie. cancer stick
Russian: kontora/office
Russian: karman/pocket
Russian: chai/tea
Rhyming slang: Charlie Chaplin -> Chaplain
Russian: chashka/cup
Russian: chasovoy/sentry
Russian: zhenshcheena/woman
Russian: cheestit/to clean
Russian: chelovyek/person, man
Russian: chyepookha/nonsense
Russian: choodesniyi/miraculous
Invented slang: chatter + mumble
German: klop/hit
Dutch/Malay: kloppen/to hit
Russian: klyuv/beak
Russian: kolokol/bell
Unknown
Russian: krast/steal
Russian: kreechat/scream
Unknown
Russian: dama/lady
Russian: ded/grandfather
Russian: dengi/money
Russian: devochka/girl
Russian: dobro/good
Russian: dom/house
Gypsy: dook/magic
Russian: dukh: spirit/shost
Russian: dorogoi/expensive, dear
Russian: drat/to tear to pieces to kill/drat’sya/to fight
Invented slang: adrenochrome?
Russian: droog/friend
Russian: dva/two
Russian: igra/game
Russian: imya/name
School boy speak
Invented slang: ‘M’ from “Mama”
English slang: tired
Unknown
Invented slang: Unknown
Russian: forel/trout
Russian: gazeta/newspaper
Russian: glaz/eye
Russian: glupiyi/foolish, stupid
Invented slang: ‘man of God’
Invented slang: related to
Russian: golos/voice
Russian: guba/lip
Russian: gulyat/to walk, stroll
Russian: gorlo/throat
Russian: govorit/to speak, talk
Russian: gryuzniyi/dirty
Russian: gryuzniyi/dirty
Russian: gromkii/loud
Russian: grud/breast
Russian: gruppa/group
Invented slang: short “guffaw”
Russian: golova/head
School boy speak
Invented slang: hen-corn
Possibly Russian: korm/animal feed
Invented slang: sound a horn
Russian: khorosho/good
Rhyming Slang: corny

Invented slang: obvious
Russian: interesovat/ to interest
Russian: idti/to go
School boy speak
Russian: zhizn/life
Russian: kartofel/potatoes
Russian: kishka/intestines
Russian: kleb/bread
Russian: klyuch/key
Russian: knopka/push-button
Russian: kopat/to dig
Russian: koshka/cat
Russian: kot/cat
Russian: krov/blood
Russian: kupit/to buy
Russian: lapa/paw
Russian: lyudi/people
Invented slang: related to “blighter”?
Russian: litso/face
Russian: lomtik/slice (of bread)
Russian: lovit/to catch
Russian: lyublyu/love

Rhyming Slang: upper story/hair
Russian: malchik/boy
Russian: malyenkiyi/small
Russian: maslo/butter
Russian: merzkiyi/loathsome
Russian: misl/thought
Russian: mesto/place
Russian: militsiya/policeman
Russian: minuta/minute
Russian: molodoy/young
Russian: moloko/milk
Russian: muzhchina/male human being
Russian: morda/snout
Invented slang: munch?
Russian: mozg/brain
Russian: nachinat/to begin
Russian: nadmenniyi/arrogant
Russian: ending for numbers 11-19
Russian: nagoi/naked
Russian: nazad/literally backwards
Russian: nizhniyi/lower (adj.)
Russian: noch/night
Russian: noga/foot
Russian: nozh/knife
Russian: nyukhat/to smell, take a whiff
Russian: odinok/lonesome
Russian: odin/one
Russian: okno/window
Russian: ubivat/to kill
Russian: ukhodit/to leave
Russian: ukho/ear
Russian: umniyi/clever
Russian: ukhasniyi/terrible
Russian: uzh/snake (?)
Malay: Orang/Man (the Orangutan)
Russian: osushat/to dry
Russian: otchki/glasses
Invented slang
Invented slang: ‘P’ from “Papa”
Russian: pit/to drink
Russian: pisha/food
Russian: plakat/to cry
Russian: platye/clothes
Russian: plenniyi/prisoner
Russian: pleskat/to splash
Russian: plecho/shoulder
Russian: plot/flesh
Russian: podushka/pillow
Russian: pol/sex (gender)
Russian: polezniyi/useful
English: poly/many + clef/key
Russian: ponimat/to understand
Russian: pugat/ to frighten
Russian: pushka/cannon
Invented slang
Russian: prestupnik/criminal
Rhyming slang: Derived from ‘lolly’ (money)
Russian: privodit/to lead
English slang: shortening of ‘produce’
Russian: ptitsa/bird
Russian: pyanitsa/a drunkard
Russian: rabota/work
Russian: radost/joy
Russian: rasskaz/story
Russian: rassudok/sanity, common sense
Russian: raz/occasion
Russian: razdrazhat/to irritate
Russian: razrvat/to rip
Russian: ruka/hand
Russian: rot/mouth
Russian: rozha/ugly face or grimace
French: sabot/a type of shoe (?) Possibly Russian: sapog/a tall shoe
Russian: sakhar/sugar
Russian: samoye/ the most
English slang: shortening of ‘sarcastic’
Russian: skotina/colloquial: brute beast
Russian: shaika/band (as of thieves)
Invented slang: Unknown
Russian: shariki/marbles
Russian: pole
Unknown
English slang: shiv-a knife
Russian: shyeya/neck
German: Schlager/club or bat (more exactly,something you use to hit with) Possibly Dutch/Malay origin: slaag/hit
Russian: shlyupa/hat
Russian: shlem/helmet
Russian: shum/noise
Russian: shutit/to fool
Invented slang: from cinema
Russian: skazat/to say
School boy speak
Russian: skori/quick
Invented slang: strike + scratch
Russian: khvatat/to grab, snatch
Russian: sladkiyi/sweet
Russian: sluchatsya/to happen
Russian: slushat/to hear
Russian: slovo/word
Russian: smekh/a laugh
Russian: smotret/to look
Russian: snitsya/to dream
Invented slang: related to snout?
English slang: to snuff is to kill
Russian: sobirat/to gather (people)
English slang: from sodomite
English slang: from sodomy
Russian: sumka/bag
Russian: sovyet/advice, council
Russian: spat/to sleep
Russian: spugivat/to frighten
Invented Slang: State + Jail
Russian: stariyi/old
Russian: strakh/fear
Invented slang: synthetic mescaline
Russian: taliya/waist
German: Taschentuch/Hankerchief
French: tasse/cup
Russian: tolchok/a push, shove
Russian: tuflya/slipper
Russian: tri/three
Russian: varit/to cook up
French: W.C. (pron. vey-sey)
Russian: chelovyek/person, man
Invented slang: Amphetamine
Russian: vesh/thing
Russian: vidyet/to see
Russian: volos/hair
Russian: von/stench
Russian: vred/to harm
English: sing, a bird’s song
Russian: yama/hole, pit
Arabic
Russian: yazik/tongue
Russian: yarblicka/apples
Russian: echatz (pron: “yekatz”)/to go
Russian: zamechatelniyi/remarkable
Russian: zhena/wife
Russian: zubi/teeth
Russian: zvonok/doorbell
Russian: zvuk/sound

 

Mr. Hyman explains NADSAT: “Perhaps the most fascinating thing about the book it’s language. Alex thinks and talks in the “nadsat” (teenage) vocabulary of the future. A doctor in the book explains it. “Odd bits of old rhyming sland,” he says. “A bit of gypsy talk, too. But most of the roots are Slav. Propaganda. Subliminal penetration.” Nadsat is not quite so hard to decipher as Cretan Linear B, and Alex translates it. I found that I could not read the book without compiling a glossary; I reprint it here, although it is entirely unauthorized, and some of it is guesswork.

 

At first the vocabulary seems incomprehensible: “you could peet it with vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom or one or two other veshches.” Then the reader, even if he knows no Russian, discovers that some of the meaning is clear from context: “to tolchock some old veck in an alley and viddy him swim in his blood.” Other words are intelligible after a second context: when Alex kicks a fallen enemy on the “gulliver” it might be any part of the body, but when a glass of beer is served with a gulliver, “gulliver” is head. (Life is easier, of course, for those who know the Russian word golova.)

 

Anthony Burgess has not used Russian words mechanically, but with great ingenuity, as the transformation into “gulliver,” with its Swiftian associates, suggests. Others are brilliantly anglicized: khorosho (good or well) as “horrowshow”; iudi (people) as “lewdies”; militsia (militia or police) as millicents. Burgess has not used Russian words in an American slang extension, such as nadsat itself, in the termination of the Russian numbers eleven to nineteen, which he breaks off independently on the analogy of our “teen”. Thus kopat (to dig with a shovel) is used as “dig” in the sense of enjoy or under- stand; koshka (cat) and ptitsa (bird) become the hip “cat” and “chick”; neezhny (lower) turns into “neezhnies” (underpants); pooshka (cannon) becomes the term for a pistol; rozha (grimace) turns into “rozz”, one of the words for policeman; samyi (the most) becomes “sammy” (generous); soomka (bag) is the slang “ugly woman”; vareet (to cook up) is also used in the slang sense, for something preparing or transpiring.

 

The “gypsy talk”, I would guess, includes Alex’s phrase “O my brothers”, and “crark” (to yowl?), “cutter” (money), “filly” (to fool with), and such. The rhyming slang includes “luscious glory” or “hair” (rhyming with “upper story”?) and “pretty polly” for “money” (rhyming with “lolly” or current slang) Others are inevitable associations, such as “cancer” for “cigarette” and “charlie” for “chaplain”. Others are produced simply by schoolboy transformations: “appy polly loggy” (apology), “baddiwad” (bad), “eggiweg” (egg), “skolliwoll” (school), and so forth. Others are amputations: “guff” (guffaw), “pee and em” (pop and mom), “sarky” (sarcastic), “sinny” (cinema). Some appear to be portmanteau words: “chumble” (chatter-mumble), “mounch” (mouth- munch), “shive” (shiv-shave), “skirking” (striking-scratching).

 

There are slight inconsistencies in the story when Alex forgets his word and invents another or uses our word, but on the whole he handles his Russianate vocabulary in a masterly fashion. It has a wonderful sound, particularly in abuse, when “grahzny bratchny” sounds infinitely better than “dirty bastard”.

 

View the NADSAT DICTIONARY as originally posted at soomka.com.

HUMOROUS BALD MAN MAKES GOOD POINT

baldman-point-preview

HAPPY PRODUCT INC© likes the bald man Seth Godin. After analyzing his files, we have discovered that on his blog, he makes a very good point about “The Myth of Preparation.” This should be useful to anyone doing anything, but especially filmmakers that are waiting to become perfect at making their films.


Seth Godin says: “There are three stages of preparation. (For a speech, a product, an interview, a sporting event…)

The first I’ll call the beginner stage. This is where you make huge progress as a result of incremental effort.

The second is the novice stage. This is the stage in which incremental effort leads to not so much visible increase in quality.

And the third is the expert stage. Here’s where races are won, conversations are started and sales are made. A huge amount of effort, off limits to most people, earns you just a tiny bit of quality. But it’s enough to get through the Dip and be seen as the obvious winner.

Here’s the myth: The novice stage is useful. If all you’re going to do is go through the novice stage before you ship, don’t bother. If you’re not prepared to put in the grinding work of the expert stage, just do the beginner stuff and stop screwing around. Make it good enough and ship it and move on.

We diddle around in the novice stage because we’re afraid. We polish (but not too much) and go to meetings (plenty of them) and look for deniability, spending hours and hours instead of shipping. And the product, in the end, is not so much better.

I’m all for expertise. Experts, people who push through and make something stunning–we need more of them. But let’s be honest, if you’re not in the habit of being an expert, it’s unlikely your current mode of operation is going to change that any time soon.

Go, give a speech. Go, start a blog. Go, ship that thing that you’ve been hiding. Begin, begin, begin and then improve. Being a novice is way overrated.”

• In summary, the HAPPY PRODUCT INC STATISTICAL ANALYSIS GENERATOR says: Just get going already, people are waiting to consume your product(s)and an imperfect product(s) is better than no product(s).

Link to the original article.