You could be the proud owner of a product(s) from the HAPPY PRODUCT CORPORATION©. Thank you for your good taste and continued support of the efforts of the HAPPY PRODUCT CORPORATION©, we recognize that you have a choice and that you have chosen to be HAPPY©. By downloading this document, you agree to print and assemble this products packaging, complying with all the terms and conditions listed in the purchasers agreement (doc 45-98123) included with all purchase receipts and summarized below:
By purchasing this product(s) you agree to be the CONSUMER and as the CONSUMER you promise to use the product(s) each and every day for maximum potential wear and tear to be exerted upon the product(s). You agree to utilize the product(s) until breakage or disrepair occurs. As a responsible CONSUMER you agree to purchase another product(s) to replace the damaged or ruined product(s). The CORPORATION does not make any claims to be responsible for the product(s) well being after it leaves the security of the assembly line.* (PLEASE NOTE: If a problem does occur in assembly, the CONSUMER is covered by the warrantee provided by the CONSUMERS PROTECTION FUND, paid for by the 2% of all salary drawn from all registered CONSUMERS paychecks.) The CORPORATION makes no claim that the product(s) are warranted in any way what so ever, even through shipment. The CORPORATION makes no claim of liability in the shipment or packaging process, if the product(s) arrives damaged, you agree to buy a replacement unit at your own cost. Remember, once the shipping box is opened, the CONSUMER agrees to all liability and ownership of blame of any mental anguish.
As CONUSMER you agree to show the product to all that you come in contact with and you make a firm commitment to act as proxy salesman for the CORPORATION by explaining the rich and sundry uses for the product(s). You agree to show the products to friends and family, but you do not allow them to touch or borrow said products. You then promise to encourage others to purchase their own product(s) and you promise to direct them to the nearest retailer for said product(s). The CONSUMER must agree to promise to express complete and genuine happiness from the use of the product(s) whether or not the happiness is a result of the use of the product(s). The CONSUMER also agrees to mask any sadness or discomfort that may result from the use of the product(s). Any non-compliance with this agreement will result in imprisonment and increased percentages drawn from the CONSUMERS salary, during incarceration and after release. The CONSUMER also agrees not to attempt any form of lawsuit against the CORPORATION for any wrongdoing or perceived wrongdoing.
The CORPORATION promises to continue production of the product(s) available at HAPPY PRODUCT so in the event that the materials become faulty, the CONSUMER may buy another without delay.
This agreement may not be terminated or altered by the CONSUMER for any reason what so ever. The CORPORATION may terminate this agreement for any reason and without any prior notice.
HAPPY© and GET HAPPY© are registered trademarks of the HAPPY PRODUCT CORPORATION© and must be used only with notarized written permission from the corporation.
THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONTINUED PATRONAGE. WE LOOK FORWARD TO SELLING YOU SOMETHING AGAIN SOON! ENJOY!